Life After Death
by Bree-Hitachiin
Summary: Sequel to my other fic "Killing Me Softly". After events that left Kaoru stranded from his twin, he has to deal with a new Hikaru. Vague cause I don't wanna spoil the first one xD TWINCEST AND YAOI. You have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

Ohayo Gozaimasu! This is a sequel to my first story entitled "Killing Me Softly." If you haven't read it, I suggest you do so that this might actually make sense xD

Once again, I do not own Ouran. -sigh-

Pairing: HikaKao

Enjoy :D

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_Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone._

Hikaru's POV

Darkness isn't really so bad when you've been there for eternity. It can be comforting and shield you from watching eyes or it can blind you to the world. In the dark, our fears can become realities or they can disappear entirely. You can hide in darkness or you can be smothered with it. I have chosen to allow the darkness to numb my soul and my mind and shroud it so that the world cannot possibly find me. I lay in this cloud of malice waiting to live, waiting to die, waiting for the wind of chance to sweep me away into the impossible. I see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing. My body is weak, I am unmoving. My eyes unblinking, lungs never able to draw in quite enough sweet oxygen.

_Kaoru..._

_ I want this to end. _

I don't want this to end.

_ This is torture. _

I am in pure bliss.

_Kaoru... _

_ I miss him._

There is no one left for me.

_ I can hear his voice._

Imagination is a strong thing.

_ I feel his warmth._

_Kaoru..._

I feel...

Kaoru.

I want...

Kaoru.

I can't...

Kaoru, please.

I won't...

Help me.

I need...

You.

I hear...

Your voice.

I hear...

Kaoru.

I hear...

I...

Need...

Out...

"...karu?" My eyes feel like they're on fire as I open them slowly. There is only a sliver of light in the room, but it is brighter than the sun compared to the dark binds I've been entangled in.

"Kaoru..." My voice is thin but I manage that one word. Such a wonderful, beautiful word. No, not a word. A name. The name of the most perfect person alive. I love the taste of it when it rolls off my tongue and the sound is just as sweet. I swallow a few times and find that my throat is as dry as sand. I clear it a bit. I need to taste that name again. "Kaoru..." I realize that I hear nothing. I focus on my ears trying to get them to work. Not only do I need to taste that name, but I need to hear the sumptuous voice that goes along with it. Slowly I begin to hear, just a slight buzzing at first but soon it becomes more clear and the sound is...indescribable. Like a symphany? An angel's cry? A child's laughter? None of these work, the sound that I'm hearing is far too beautiful for mere words. I turn my head so that finally I can see the source of all this...this _magnificence._ I blink a few times to fight away the last of the blindness and what I see takes my breath to a far off place. This can't possibly be a simple human. The features are far too lovely for this being to be worldly. I am vaguely aware that this entity is in every way identical to myself, but this fact means nothing. There is no one on this planet that could possibly be compared to that face. His lips are moving and I realize he's speaking to me so I listen to the words to get myself out of this daze I've landed in.

"...you ok? Hikaru can you hear me? How are you feeling?" He's asking **me** a question. This person is actually speaking to a low-life like **me**. My mouth moves but no sound escapes. He reaches for a glass of water and hands it to me. My hands shake as I down the whole thing in one gulp. I return the glass to him and sit up, taking his hand.

"Kaoru...I love you." Is all I can think to say with my renewed voice. His eyes fill with tears. He's sad? This person should never cry. I reach up and cup his cheek with my other hand, pulling him closer to me. No words are exchanged, we simply sit in the silent bliss and stare at our matching faces.

After several moments his eyes slide closed and he leans into my hand.

"Hikaru...I've missed you so much. I'm so glad you've come back to me," his voice is full of joy and that in turn makes me happy. That's when I realize it. This can't be real. This isn't actually happening. My lips stretch into a grin and next thing I know I'm laughing. He looks at me confused and I shake my head.

"Ok Kyouya, very funny. This is what you want to do to me? Is that it? You want to torment me further? You're a twisted son-of-a-bitch!" I realize I'm shouting. "Don't do this to me Kyouya! You just want to put me through hell! Kyouya!" Kaoru's eyes were wide and he kept trying to cover my mouth.

"Ssh...Hikaru! Be quiet it's nighttime you can't yell like that!" I cover my ears childishly and curl into a ball. "Not real, not real, not real..." I repeat again and again. I don't realize that I'm rocking until I feel his arms around my shoulders, stopping me. "Hikaru...what's not real? Talk to me Hika please..." He's running his hand through my hair and it feels heavenly, but I refuse to get sucked back into the illusion. I'm still laughing quietly. That Kyouya...he really knows how to pull a good joke. Making me think that I was alive when it's impossible. "I felt myself die. It was so real..I died that day. You're not really here, I'm not really here. This is all **his** doing, I know it. This is my punishment for doing that to Tamaki. My own personal hell. He'll probably take you away any second." I scrutinize my sibling's confused face in desperation, trying to re-memorize every detail before it's snatched away from me again. He puts his hands on either side of my head and stares me down. "Hikaru. What are you talking about? I'm real, I'm here...and I love you, Hikaru. Ok? I'm not going anywhere." He kisses my forehead and I'm in shock. Is this real? It must be a dream, cause Kaoru can't possibly mean that he loves me...can he? Before I can stop myself, I press my lips to his timidly at first, hoping that he really isn't just my imagination. Just as shyly he kisses me back and suddenly my world comes alive with brilliant colours and symphonic sounds. My lips are on fire as they move in syncronicity with my twin's. I pull away after a few long seconds and see that his face is a lively shade of red. I place my hand on his cheek and chuckle lightly. "Such a beautiful color on you Kaoru. You're so pretty when you blush..." This causes him to turn even darker.

"Hikaru..." he whines. Our lips almost meet again when a nurse walks in.

"What is the meaning of this? Kaoru...get off of your brother." She says awkwardly. I stifle a laugh as Kaoru climbs off the bed, and I reach out and take his hand. I need the reassurance that he isn't going to disappear right before my eyes. The nurse checks my IV drip and all my vitals. "Good to see you're awake, Hikaru. How are you feeling? Headache? Nausea? Any pain or anything at all? Memory loss?" I shake my head at each question.

"I've never felt better to be honest." She nods. "We still need to keep you here for another day for testing and just to make sure you're ok. For now, get some sleep. And you," she points at Kaoru. "No more...whatever you were doing." When she leaves the room it takes Kaoru only a split second before he's climbing into the bed next to me and putting an arm around my waist. I pull him close and whisper in his ear, "Don't ever let me go Kaoru. I love you." His grip tightens and he closes his eyes. "Forever and ever Hikaru." We fall asleep in each other's arms, and I've never been more happy in my whole life to have him by my side.

When I awake the next morning I begin to panic. I have no idea where I am or what's going on. I glance at my surroundings and realize I'm in a hospital room. Kaoru is laying on my bed with me and I freeze. Why isn't he at Tamaki's? I thought he was staying the night...I nudge him lightly to wake him. "Kaoru...Kao-chan...wake up." I kiss his forehead lightly and stroke his hair back from his innocent face. He stirs and groans quietly. "Hikaru..." I kiss his cheek. "I'm right here, Kao. It's time to wake up now, my sweet." I try to remain calm but my head is reeling with confusion. I have no idea why I'm here or what's going on; the possibilities tumble through my mind and every one of them scares me to death. If anything happened to Kaoru...I don't even want to think about it. His eyes open and he breaks into a wide smile when he focuses on me. "Good morning beautiful," I say to him, putting forth extra effort to keep the tremor out of my voice. He frowns, I can't hide anything from my twin. "Hika what's wrong? Are you ok?" He reaches a hand up to touch my face, his golden eyes filled with concern. I stare back with a million questions circling my thoughts, but I ask only one: "Kaoru...what the fuck happened?"

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So there you have it! The sought after sequel :D please Read and Review!


	2. Chapter 2

HEY! It's been far too long ^^ gomenesai...it isn't much but I have sever writers block and I don't have anything after this...TT^TT

Anyways, here you go...the short chapter 2!

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He stares at me blankly before what I've said appears to have sunk in. "W-what do you mean Hikaru? You don't remember?" I shake my head. "The last thing I remember is you leaving for Tamaki's place and me waiting for you." I pause for a second to let this register with him. "I can't even remember if you came home..." I can feel tears beginning to prickle in the corners of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall, to show more weakness than I already have. Kaoru is pulling away from me with shock dominating his face. "You don't remember...what happened that night...what you did the day after...don't you remember what you did, Hikaru? Why you're here?" I shake my head again and my voice cracks as I respond. "No, Kaoru. I don't."

I had never seen more sadness on his beautiful face than in that moment. "Kaoru! No don't...baby don't cry, don't cry!" I pull him into a hug and kiss the top of his head. "Please don't cry...It hurts me to see you cry..." I can't fully understand what emotion I'm feeling right now. I know that there's extreme remorse but there's also...something else. Some new feeling that I can't quite describe...love? No, it can't be...I've loved my brother for as long as I can remember so that can't possibly be new to me. Unless...no. I refuse to think about my twin that way and I push all thoughts of attraction out of my mind. "Kaoru I'm sorry, but there isn't alot I can do about this. Can you tell me what happened? How did I get here, what happened the night before? Is it connected?" I ask way too many questions at one time and I can see that they are overwhelming him so I stop to let him process each one. He sighs quietly and closes his eyes, and for a second I think he's fallen back asleep when finally he speaks.

"The night that you remember me leaving...was the night that Tamaki raped me." His bluntness causes me to gasp. "H-he what?" Kaoru nods silently, opening his eyes and looking at me sadly before moving on. "You were really angry, and I thought maybe you were disgusted by me for letting it happen, but really you were just so mad at Tamaki that I took it wrong." He pauses briefly before continuing. "The next day, we were taking a walk and-" he cuts off and stares down at his hands, which are shaking a bit. I take them in my own and ask him to keep talking. "And I kissed you. You...well you didn't like that, so I started to run away. While I was running I found T-Tamaki. With Haruhi." I can hear the anger in his voice. "They were fucking." My breathing hitches; I've never heard Kaoru swear before, unless he's super angry. "Kao-" "You beat the hell out of him. If we hadn't pulled you off you probably would have killed him. After you realized this, you booked it into the forest and I let you go...at first. After the ambulance got to Tamaki I went after you. I looked for 3 days, Hikaru. 3 days. I was beginning to lose hope and was about to turn back when I saw you. Well, I saw your hair; that was all that was sticking out of the water...I jumped in and brought you to shore, but you were already unconscious. Thank God Kyouya just so happened to be using his helecopter to find me and spotted us as I was resuscitating you. He airlifted us here and you've been unconscious since. Until last night." He wipes the tears off his cheek and sniffles. "You don't remember last night either, do you?" He asks without hope. I try as hard as I can to remember, but all there is is darkness. I know something should be there, but I can't find it within the blackness of my mind. "No, I don't." I answer and his body sags against mine with obvious defeat. "I didn't think so.." he mumbles.

I kiss the top of his head and rest my cheek there, sighing in frustration. "I wish I could Kaoru, you have no idea. Is there anything else you can tell me? Maybe I'll remember the more you tell me." He starts to shake his head then stops. "Well...there is one thing, but it's not going to help you much. The night that Tamaki...well you know. The night he attacked me...that was the night that I fell in love." I lift my head and turn towards him. "You fell in love with Tamaki even after he did that to you? Kaoru I knew you could be dense but that's just plain stupid." He giggles and blushes slightly. "Hikaru, I didn't say it was Tamaki. It was someone else." I find myself very confused at this. Who else could it be? "Oh. Well, who is it? Do they love you back?" I wrack my brain thinking of who it could be and I find myself quite intrigued by this confession. His face turns even darker. "Well, I know they love me...but I'm not sure if it's in the right way. I think I need to kind of help them to see it, but I'm scared they might not accept me." I make mental note of his use of 'they', not 'he' or 'she'. Does this mean that Kaoru has opened himself to girls now? Maybe that's why he's so afraid to tell this person, cause they know that he's gay and might think it's weird. Or maybe I'm over-thinking this whole thing. I blink back to reality to find him staring at me with a look of determination. "What?" He doesn't say a word but cups my cheek with his hand, running his thumb along my cheek-bone. I close my eyes; the feeling is very calming and I find that my confusion has all but disappeared. I can sense him pulling my face closer to him and I willingly oblige, moving where I'm being guided. Even though I know exactly where this is leading, I'm still surprised to feel warm lips pressing lightly against my own. I expected that I would want to pull away, but I soon find that I feel more connected to my brother than I ever have before. Our lips move slowly against each other at first, but the heat builds and I prod his lips gently with my tongue. He timidly opens his mouth and I explore the hot cavern, savouring his sweet taste. I turn myself so that I'm on top of him and I delve into his mouth more deeply, swallowing his quiet moans. Too soon I have to pull away for oxygen and we stare into our matching eyes, too captivated to look away.

"Hikaru..." He says breathlessly, "I love you." His signature red tone creeps onto his cheeks and his gaze drops. Without a second thought I pull his chin up and give him another kiss, this one short and sweet. "I love you too, Kaoru. More than you know." I can't understand why I'm saying this, but I know that somehow...it's right.

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Short. Sweet. Good enough xD

There ya go, read and review to lemme know ;D


	3. Chapter 3

Does anyone still pine for this to finish? If so, here you go! Not totally done yet, but getting there. Thanks to a little inspiration and help from redXvelvetXcupcakeXXX, I am back on track with this one! Not completely sure of the ending yet, but the creative juices are definitely flowing and I am ready to finally complete this sequel. Hope you enjoy!

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_Kaoru's POV_

_Dear Diary,_

_Having Hikaru back, even though he was only gone a week, is a miracle and a blessing. He showers me with gifts and kisses and love, so much that I can hardly stand it. In fact…I honestly wish he would stop. Don't get me wrong, I love this new Hikaru. He's sweet and kind and a beautiful person…but it's become apparent that his experience has changed him drastically. He's not the same Hikaru that I fell in love with. I fell in love with him because I knew it was right in my heart. We were such different people before. We had different views on things and our opinions would differ from time to time. He was good at math and science, I was good at language and social studies. He was slow to realize his own feelings, while I was waiting for him to catch on. Now…if I like something he does. If I want to be somewhere, he has to come. It was great at first but I miss the differences. He's trying to be so much like me that it's started to bother me and I'm starting to wonder if we're really meant to be just brothers after all. I don't know. I'm just so confused…I hope I get this figured out soon, or leaving him might just break us both beyond repair if I choose to do so. _

I sigh as I close my journal, tracing the engraved scripted letters on the front cover. Hikaru and I were given matching journals in two colors for our 14 birthday, and I haven't gone a day without writing in it since. I'm running out of room though…the entries are getting longer recently. As far as I know, Hikaru's is still at the bottom of his underwear drawer. And still empty. If he were to catch me writing in mine, I'm sure he'd have his out within the hour, so I've had to write my entries in the bathroom with the shower turned on. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have at least that small pleasure to myself. Everything these days is about us; and I want so bad to love it…but I just can't seem to enjoy it anymore. I never get free time unless I practically demand it, and it kills me when Hikaru puts on his pouty face at having to leave me for five minutes. Although that face is truly adorable. I just want to pinch his cute red cheeks when he does it.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a loud bang outside the bathroom. I undress quickly and stick my head under the running shower briefly before poking it out of the door. Hikaru is lying on the bed with his eyes closed and a grin on his face. I frown in confusion at what could have made him so happy, and I go back to shut off the shower. Wrapping a towel around my still mostly dry waist, I stroll casually over to the bed and sit on the edge.

"What's got you so smiley?" I say and poke his side teasingly. His smile turns into a frown and he swats at my hand.

"I hate when you do that Kaoru! You know I do!" He yells, and I pull my hand back like I've been zapped.

"Hikaru…? What's wrong, you seemed so happy…" I whisper with fright, thinking back to my relationship with Tamaki and hoping this one wasn't heading in the same direction. Hikaru sighs and throws a dramatic arm over his face.

"I just got off the phone with that guy we messed with at the café the other day. He was serious about wanting our number," he says. I frown deeply and think back to that event, recalling how we had messed with this waiter's head and made him think we wanted to have a threesome.

"You mean the cute brunette? What did he say?" I ask, watching with confusion as Hikaru uncovers his face and raises an eyebrow.

"Kaoru…he had blonde hair…almost white. What guy are you talking about?" He asks, and his tone turns teasing. I continue with my confused look. The blonde guy had been more than a month ago. There's no way he would take this long to call. And how could Hikaru tell the difference over the phone anyways?

"No Hika that was the one before. Remember the other day was the waiter, the blonde was the cashier at Best Buy?" I say, taking his hand and playing with his fingers absently. Hikaru pulls his hand away and scoffs,

"Kaoru, you are mistaken. When did we give a brunette waiter our number?" He's still smiling, his tone still teasing as it dawns on me. His memory. It must have come back and replaced the last month. I bite my lip and wonder what I should do, how I should handle his delicate memories. I decide to play along for now and think later.

"You know what Hika you're right," I say with a smooth smile. "I am mistaken. So what did he say?" My acting is flawless as we discuss the phone conversation, feeling guilty the whole time that I was enjoying myself more with my old twin brother Hikaru than I had with my lover Hikaru.

When he yawns and checks the time, I decide there is one final test to see if he really has no memory of our love. After he'd stripped to his boxers (something we hadn't slept in since the accident) and crawled under the covers, I copy him; taking my boxers off instead and slipping in next to him naked as we had been for the last month. He looks a little worried and inches away from me slightly, causing me to bite my lip in nervousness. I lean up so our faces are mere centimeters away, our lips so close to touching that I can taste his minty toothpaste on my tongue. I loved the physical part of our relationship, as much as I hate to admit it. I actually loved being physically intimate with my lover Hikaru than I did being emotionally intimate. Touching and kissing and teasing and fucking all night…even the thought of it made my cock twitch slightly. I push away the thoughts and memories as I refocus on the test at hand. I'm about to press our lips together when Hikaru backs away completely and shouts in alarm.

"Kaoru what are you doing! This isn't the Host Club!" My eyes fill with tears as I realize that his feelings for me are no longer mutual. It's the same as that day in the forest, not so long ago. He doesn't love me like that anymore. I back away and lay down, turning away so I can cry. I sense that he is still looking at me in confusion and probably disgust, but only briefly before he mutters and turns his back to me as well.

When I finally get to sleep after my crying, my dreams are anything but nice. All I can dream about is different reactions I could get for telling him everything that happened. And what would happen if I don't. My brain is a mess when the alarm goes off the next morning, and I want nothing more than to stay in bed with some hot tea and my diary. School is the last thing I'm thinking of as I hit the alarm to silence it and curl up with all the blankets. Hikaru groans in protest and tries to pull even a corner of blanket out from under me for himself.

"Kaoruuuu you need to share…" he grumbles and I roll over to peek at him through the folds of my blanket-cocoon.

"No. Mine." I say, hoping to keep the mood light this morning so I could keep him in a good mood as I fake sick for school. He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose.

"You're adorable. Time for school," he says and looks at his boxers with a raised eyebrow.

"I must have been tired last night hey? Forgot to take off my boxers," he says with a smile and a wink. My eyebrows knit together and I slowly uncurl from my cozy blanket.

"Hikaru…? Are you…feeling okay?" I ask and reach out to touch his forehead for signs of a fever. He chuckles and grabs my hand, pulling me in for a kiss. I gasp and pull away, looking at him up and down.

"What are you doing? Last night you didn't even want a goodnight kiss," I say, my mind reeling at his switch. He looks at me with disbelief and grabs me again, kissing my whole face before getting to my lips and practically devouring them.

"Well I hope that makes up for it," he says with a devilish grin and struts to the bathroom.

"Better hurry up, we don't want to be late." He says and my head spins with questions. What does he remember? What has he forgotten? And possibly the most important question of all:

_Which one is the real Hikaru?_

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Let me know what you think of where this is going, and PM me if you there's anything you'd like to see happen! Please review!


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